When Pride Replaces Principles

There’s a quiet ache that settles into my chest when I scroll social media these days.

It’s not the curated perfection or the never-ending stream of “look at me” moments. I’ve made peace with filters and influencer culture.

I’m talking about something deeper — something heavier. That strange, hollow feeling when you see people loudly celebrating choices and behavior that, not that long ago, would’ve been handled with humility… or at the very least, privacy.

It’s this cultural shift that keeps echoing in my mind .........

“We live in a time where some people are proud of what they should be ashamed of.”

And I’m not talking about old-school shame — the kind used to control, silence, or oppress. I’m talking about moral compass shame. The healthy kind that comes from knowing right from wrong. The kind that’s rooted in conscience, not cancel culture.

We’ve glamorized dysfunction. Monetized selfishness. Elevated chaos as “confidence.” And somewhere along the way, we’ve confused being unapologetic with being untouchable. It's okay in some instances, but not so much in others.

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When Did Humility Become Weakness?

There was a time — and I remember it — when growth meant taking accountability.

When doing something out of line led to reflection. Apology. Change. Not a viral soundbite. Not a merch drop. Not a passive-aggressive post telling the world, “This is who I am — deal with it.”

Now, we watch people brag about betrayal. Proudly share parenting moments that stem from neglect, not nurturing. Glorify cutting people off instead of working through hard conversations. Celebrate being “unbothered” while leaving a trail of emotional wreckage behind them.

And the comments? “Queen behavior.” “Unmatched energy.” “Zero regrets.”

But if we’re honest… the people with zero regrets are often the ones who’ve left the most damage behind.

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What We Should Be Ashamed Of — But Aren’t

Let’s call out a few things that should give us pause — not applause:

Parents mocking their children for views.

Your toddler having a meltdown? That’s not a punchline. That’s a tiny human learning emotions. And filming it for a million strangers while you smirk? That’s not “real life,” that’s exploitation.

Breaking loyalty and calling it “living your truth.”

Walking away from people without communication.(This is a past time of mine, hard conversations that hurt or make us face the people who hurts us or who we've maybe hurt aren't easy.) Shading your spouse online. Broadcasting someone else’s struggle for the sake of your own platform. That’s not empowerment — that’s deflection.

Boasting about never needing anyone.

“I don’t need a man.” “I cut off my toxic family.” “I raised myself.” Sometimes those are survival stories. But sometimes, they’re symptoms of unhealed wounds being paraded as personality traits. Independence is strong — but connection is human. It's easy in the hurt to label and mask so we don't have to put ourselves

in positions to have those connections after navigating those experiences. It's not to say that you won't have lasting scars because you will, but letting them define you're whole life is like giving someone the key to rob your house while you stand by and watch.

Treating self-destruction like self-love.

Blowing money you don’t have. Drinking away your emotions. Cringe hookup culture, people seeking self validation. Saying “I’m just doing me” when you know you’re actually trying to numb something you don’t want to feel.

That’s not growth. That’s a cry for help dressed in designer lingo.

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The Difference Between Shame and Accountability

Let’s make something very clear........

I am not here to tell anyone to shrink, hide, or hate themselves.

But there’s a difference between being shamed and feeling shame.

One is weaponized by the world. The other is whispered by the soul.

Feeling shame, when rooted in truth, is what guides us back. It’s what says, “Hey… that wasn’t your best. You hurt someone. You crossed a line. You know better.”

It’s not there to destroy you. It’s there to wake you up.

But when we shove that voice down and replace it with applause? When we spin our mistakes into content? When we make a brand out of bad behavior?

We lose the opportunity to grow.

And worse — we lead others into the same patterns, convinced that accountability is old-fashioned and humility is weakness.

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What We Should Be Proud Of Instead

Let’s flip the script.

Let’s be proud of what actually takes strength

Saying “I was wrong.”

Not followed by excuses. Not hidden behind sarcasm. Just real, raw ownership.

Choosing family over followers.

Protecting the sacred. Knowing when to share and when to shut the phone off.

Working on your marriage behind closed doors.

Not everything needs a reel. Some things need privacy, patience, and prayer.

Breaking generational cycles quietly.

No need for fireworks or fanfare. Just doing the work no one claps for — healing, growing, showing up differently for your kids.

Forgiving people who never apologized.

Not because they deserve it, but because you do.

That’s where pride belongs. Not in the mess, but in the mending.

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Final Thoughts

We all fall short. We all mess up. I’ve got a list of things I’m not proud of, and if you’ve followed me long enough, you’ve probably seen a few. But I never want to be the person who makes excuses when conviction calls.

And I don’t want my daughters or sons growing up in a world where likes are louder than values… where being unbothered is more attractive than being emotionally honest… where being “real” means never being wrong.

We can do better. We must do better.

So if you’re one of the ones still choosing accountability over applause, still valuing humility over attention, still walking with integrity even when it’s quiet — I see you.

You’re not behind. You’re not boring. You’re just building a life that doesn’t need an audience to be worth living.

And that? That’s something to be proud of.

With grit, grace, and a little side-eye for the internet,

The Candid Brunette